Getting Kicked Out Of Wal Mart
by readinangel
Summary: When Alice get an email about what not to do in Wal Mart, she decides she wants to test them out. She brings Em, Ed, Bell, Rose, and Jazz along, and it results in choas! Warning: you will laugh. Characters mostly in cannon!
1. Prologue

**Getting Kicked Out Of Wal Mart**

_This is what happens when I get bored and decide to write something totally random- which isn't like me at all._

_These are taken off things I have seen in different places. The chapters will be mostly pretty short, but they will come out often. (Like I am talking at least on a day when I have time)_

_Go read my actual story, Falling Up!!!_

Disclaimer: do not own Twilight, do not own the characters. This stands for the whole story.

PROLOGUE

Alice POV

I walked over to my pink laptop, planning to do some online shopping. It was Saturday afternoon, and I was bored.

My family was in various places of the house, and I had already seen that there would be nothing that interesting in our futures. It was just a regular old Saturday.

I clicked on the internet explorer, and went to AOL, which I usually didn't do, since I heard that they had like this huge spamming thing.

"You've got mail." My computer said in that annoying voice that it uses. Hmm, I usually didn't get mail on this account, I made it a few weeks ago when I was bored, and I hadn't given it to anyone yet, how did I get the email?

I opened it up, it said it was from a Mr. Noah Lott, that was a strange name, oh well, I clicked the message open, and burst out laughing.

What to Do in Wal Mart was the subject, and it had a long list of different things, and they made me giggling, they whole time I read them, and then I got an idea.

"JASPER, EMMETT, BELLA, EDWARD, ROSALIE!!!" I yelled, and they came over to where I was one by one, and gathered around me.

"What is it Alice." Rosalie asked impatiently. I looked over at Edward who was rolling his eyes and shaking his head. _You will go along with this, otherwise I am kid-napping Bella and we are going on a shopping trip for a week, and you can't come. _I threatened in my head.

He looked over at Bella, and then sighed. Yes, it was a plan.

"Guys, we're going to Wal Mart."

oOoOoOo

_Okay, I know, random, and not very interesting, but it was just the prologue._

_I am not expecting many reviews on this, but if you would like to drop one and say what you thought, an idea for what they should do in the next chapter, or just want to say hi, go ahead!  
_

_And go check out my main story, Falling Up, which is much better and isn't random. _


	2. Sibling Bonding Time

_Me: holy freaking crap. I expected two, maybe three reviews, and maybe one or two alerts. I got 17 reviews!!!! You guys rock!!!_

_So, as I told you before, this story will probably get updated at least once a day, maybe more if I'm bored, but the chapters are short. _

_And if you haven't already, please go check out my story, Falling Up, which should get updated later today!!!_

_P.S. This will be in Alice's POV, unless I mention otherwise._

Chapter One: Sibling Bonding Time

Once we got into the car, and started flying down the high way, I told the others about my plan.

"So I got this email, about What Not to do in a Wal Mart, and it gave me this idea, what if we tried these things, and see how long it takes us to get kicked out." I explained to everyone.

"Boo Yah! I'm up for that." Emmett yelled, punching one of his gigantic fists in the air.

"Why are we doing this, again?" Rosalie asked, rolling her eyes at her husband.

"Because, I am bored, and we haven't had any sibling bonding time in forever." I said, turning my head to grin at her.

"Alice, could you please keep your eyes on the road, if you crashed, I would get hurt, remember, I am not a rock." Bella called from the backseat.

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes, but I turned back around anyway. God, wouldn't Edward just turn her already.

A growl erupted from the backseat. "Don't have a cow Edward, I was just thinking." I said, while our family looked at us in confusion.

"Cows are disgusting creatures, and taste horrible." Jasper muttered under his breath from the seat beside me. I nodded my head in agreement.

Emmett seemed to just have realized something, from the look that suddenly appeared on his face.

"Wait a minute, why does Jasper get shot gun, I'm the biggest, shouldn't I get to sit there?" Emmett whined, crossing his arms.

"I love Jasper the best, so he gets shotgun." I said, laughing.

Jasper, being immature, stuck his tongue out at Emmett, which Emmett responded to by giving him the finger.

"That's nice." Edward commented.

"Any way, I would love you if it meant I got front seat." Emmett commented, which earned him a loud smack from Rosalie.

"Guys, stop fighting, we're here." I said, pulling into Wally World.

oOoOoOo

_They're here! Now what crazy things are they going to do, you'll find out soon._

_If you give me some loving (Not the kind Jasper get's from Alice) in the form of a review, I can try to get another chapter out later tonight!!!_


	3. Strategic Locations

_Whoa, thanks so much guys! I can't believe it, 10 reviews for the last chapter… awesome! I was expecting like, no reviews, and you guys keep surprising me!!!_

_This is my just for fun story, and I started writing it for me, and I can't believe it's so popular! Keep it up!!!_

Chapter 2- Strategic Locations

We arrived at Wal Mart, and scrambled out of the car into the huge, blue and white store. I looked around at the giant, yellow smiley faces, and grinned, and took out the list I had the fore site to print out.

Number one on the list… _Take shopping carts for the purpose of filling them up with embarrassing items, and place them at strategic locations around the store._

I read it out loud, which was followed by a series of eye rolls, and one "Hell Yeah!" from Emmett.

I looked over at Jasper, who could read me perfectly, who got the message, and took control.

"As you can see, we are here." Jasper told everyone, in his military voice, pointing to the spot where we were on the store map. I smiled at my husband.

"Now, the shopping carts are located here," He said, gesturing to the spot on the map. "And the condoms are here, the tampons are here, and any other items that you can think of, will be along these rows." He finished.

"Now go!" I yelled in excitement, pumping my fist in the air, and heading off towards the shopping carts.

I grabbed an empty one, with Emmett right on my heels, and sped of towards the 'woman's area,' with Emmett still in my dust.

I grabbed a few packs of tampons, and headed off where the condoms were located, on my way, I passed Rosalie, who was riding on the back of one of the carts, gliding through the store.

I stared at her, and she just grinned sheepishly back. Even Rosalie was getting into this; this was going to be awesome.

oOoOoOo

_Thanks for reading, please review!!!_

_And please check out my other story, Falling Up._

_Also, if any of you have any interest in original fiction, my friend and I are hosting an original fiction contest, over at www (dot) sandrcontests (dot) jimdo (dot) com!!!_

_Review!!!_


	4. Ride 'Em Cowboy

_Awesome guys… 38 reviews, I'm loving you!!! _

_I actually don't have much to say, weird, just please check out my other story, Falling Up, and hope you enjoy!!!_

Chapter 3- Ride 'Em Cowboy

Once we all met up again, at the front of the store, I pulled out my list.

Number two, _divide into teams of two, using other customers if needed, and have cart races, with one person pushing, and the other in the cart._

"No way, I am not being pushed around in some buggy like a child." Rosalie argued, shaking her head.

"I will!" Emmett yelled. Rose rolled her eyes at him, but smiled. He really was her child.

"Alright then, Jasper, you're on my team, that leaves Bella and Edward together." I said, grabbing Jasper's arm.

"Oh no, I have to be stuck with Edward, dang it." Bella muttered, with sarcasm evident in her voice.

Edward looked at her for a moment, but when she smiled at him, he finally seemed to get it.

"That one went whoosh, huh Edward." I said, raising an arm above my head. He growled at me, I laughed.

"Alright, everyone get your buggy," I instructed, dancing over to the buggies and grabbing one for me and Jasper.

Once we all had buggies, and were lined up in one of the wider isles, we got ready. Bella, Emmett and I all climbed into the buggies, while Rose, Jasper, and Edward were all crouching down, ready to go.

"Human speed, remember," I muttered quietly, making sure that this didn't get to out of control, like that time Emmett and Edward had to wrestle in a school gym match. That had ended badly, and Emmett almost had to get tested for steroids.

I saw a small kid walking towards us, and suddenly got an idea that stop the coming argument over who got to sat go.

"Hey, want to earn ten bucks?" I asked the kid, when he got closer. He nodded his head, and stepped forward.

"All you have to do is say ready, set, go, ok?" I asked. He nodded slowly, and smiled. I handed him a crisp ten dollar bill, and he smiled, probably already thinking how much candy he could buy with it.

"Ready," the little boy began in a squeaky voice, "Set, GO!" He shouted, and we were off.

I leaned down low, not wanting any air resistance to slow us down. Jasper was running fast, for a human anyway. Edward and Bella were right beside us; Bella's eyes a light, and a giant smile stretching across her face.

Emmett had pretty much the same look, but it quickly disappeared as Rosalie made a sharp turn into another isle, instead of going straight like us.

I smiled, one down.

Jasper rounded a sharp corner on the inside, and I was launched onto one side of the basket. I was giggling like crazy though, as I was launched to the other side, as Jasper had taken another sharp turn.

We passed an old lady doing shopping, who started shaking her fist at us, but I didn't care, this was too much fun.

We rounded yet another corner, and the isle that we had set as the finish line was in view. I glanced behind us, Edward and Bella were at least three cart spaces behind us, we had this.

But just as we were halfway there, Emmett and Rosalie came flying out of nowhere, and were suddenly ahead of us. I whispered something to Jasper, and he sped up just a tad.

We were nose and nose, and only a mere few yards away form the finish line. We were going to win, we were going to win!

But then there was a huge crash, we had collided!!!

Both Emmett and I went flying forward, and we landed about a foot away from the finish line. I looked around, so close.

Jasper and Rose were trying desperately to get untangled, who ever could get clear first, would win.

But then I heard a squeaking of wheels, and we all glanced around wildly.

Edward and Bella were walking at a slow pace, even for humans, to the finish lines, with smug grins on their faces. This caused Rose and Jasper to try even faster, but I knew it was all in vein.

I watched in dread as Edward and Bella crossed the finish line, jumping up and down, Bella leaping into Edward's arms, he spun her around.

"It isn't the world cup, guys." I muttered. They just grinned at me.

oOoOoOo

_Extra long chapter for you guys, so now you have to give me extra reviews… well, actually, just keep up the awesome work please._

_New chapter either later today or tomorrow, so check back soon!!!_


	5. Fight to the Death

_Alright guys, your reviews are so awesome!!! They make me smile so much, thank you lots and lots!!!_

_As always, please check out my main story, Falling Up. And also, please go vote on my pole!!!_

Chapter 4- Fight to the Death

Once Bella and Edward calmed down from winning, which I still didn't think that was quite fun. I consulted my list, once again.

Number three, _Challenge people to duels with gift wrap._

Hmm, this could be fun. "Alright, come on guys, this way." I said, glancing once again at the map. We marched over to the Arts and Crafts section, where the gift wrap was apparently kept.

"G-I Jones, and G-I gravy." Emmett sang under his breath.

"Gee I wished I joined the navy." I finished, just slightly louder than him.

"Sound off, one two." Rosalie sang.

"Sound off, three, four." Edward finished.

"Kadent's count." Jasper added.

"One, two, three four, one two, three four!" Bella sang.

"If I die, in the battle zone." I started.

"If I die in the battle zone." Everyone repeated.

"Box me up and ship me home." I finished.

"Box me up and ship me home." They sang.

"Sound off."

"One, two."

Sound Off."

"Three, Four."

"Kadent's count." I sang.

"One, two, three, four, one two, three four!" They sang.

"Fifty miles, or more to go." Jasper started.

"Fifty miles, or more to go." We repeated.

"When we get there, remember to stay low." Jasper sang out.

"When we get there, remember to stay low." We all sang.

We repeated this song quite a few times, with verses off the top of our heads, such as "when the opponents come around, go and knock them to the ground."

Or Emmett's "Even if they shout you in the chest, we will live 'cause vampires are the best!" He said that one quietly, at least.

When we finally reached the isle where the gift wrap was located, I let out a grin. Time to put my awesome fighting skills to the test.

"Guys, your tube of gift wrap is your sword, if you get hit in the head, stomach, or chest, your out. If you get hit in the arm or leg, you can't use it anymore, hopping on one leg if you need to.

"Right, let's just get fighting." Emmett said, grabbing a tube of gift wrap, one that happened to have little ducks on it.

We all chose one; mine was full of swirls of different colors. I decided to go against Bella first.

I wasn't trying to pick on the human, I just wanted to win.

"Come on Bella, I will go easy on you." I said, pulling her over to the corner of the row.

"And ready, set, draw." I said, and began with my attack.

I barely did anything at first, just a few swats, but then I got serious. But, surprisingly, Bella blocked all of my attacks, even gaining on me.

As I tried unsuccessfully to swipe at her, but couldn't prevail. She actually swiped off my left arm, leaving me with only my right.

After another few minutes, Bella managed to get me right in the gut, I lost.

To Bella. Human. Bella.

I looked around at the others, Jasper won against Emmett, and Rose managed to beat Edward, somehow. Unfair.

Jasper, Bella, and Rose all faced each other, their tubes of gift wrap in the ready position. Emmett, Edward and I all stood around them, ready to cheer on our mates.

"One, two, three, and GO!" I shouted, and they began.

They were at it right then, and were moving fact, even Bella.

Unfortunately for Rose, Bella and Jasper double teamed her, and took her down. Once Rose backed away, grumbling, Jasper and Bella turned on each other.

They attacked and battled back and forth, neither one getting the complete edge. We watched and cheered as they danced one way and then another.

Finally, after minutes of suspense, Bella managed to twist around Jasper and get him in the chest. Cheers erupted from Edward and Emmett, while Rose and I booed.

Bella jumped up and down, all excited. While jasper spit onto the ground.

It looked like if we didn't do anything else soon, then a fight might break out. That could be fun, but all the same, it was time to move on.

oOoOoOo

_Yay, another long chapter! Did you like, let me know!_

_Also, want to enter a little contest? Earlier the Cullen's were singing songs along to that tune of that army song my dad always sings (Sorry, I don't know the name.)_

_But anyways, the first two verses were real, but the others were my own. So the contest is to see if anyone can come up with a good verse for that._

_Who ever wins gets to be mentioned in the next chapter, and their verse will appear later in the story. I am not sure when. But it will!!!_

_So please review, send in an entry by review if you want, and check out my other story, and vote on my pole!!_

_New chapter out tomorrow!!! _


	6. Seperate Ways

_Thank you guys, your reviews and encouragement continue to amaze me! _

_Guys, I am now betaing for Sophia24, go check out her story, a light in the Darkness, it's awesome! And if anyone else needs a beta, I'm happy to help!  
_

_And, if you are still in need of a story to read, go check out my other story, Falling Up!_

_Sorry for not updating yesterday, I was super busy, but here is a super long chapter for you to read and review!_

_And btw, I could not think of a good name for this chapter, so this is what your stuck with. _

Chapter Five- Separate Ways

Once Bella freaking beat five vampires in a duel, still don't know how that happened, I consulted my list again.

Number five- _When walking through the clothing department, ask in a very loud voice for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?"_

Hmm, that didn't seem like it needed us all to do, maybe we should split up.

"Guys, the next few can be completed my like one person, so I think we should go our separate ways, and each complete a number." I said, in a very official tone.

"Whatever." Rosalie muttered. I didn't think she wanted to act like an idiot- alone.

We would have to fix that. "Alright everyone, line up, I will be telling you all what your assignment is, report to the front of the store when you are done." I ordered.

They all lined up, and I paced back in forth in front of them, pretending to be one of those generals in the army, who are assigning people their tasks, which was basically what I was doing.

I stopped first in front of Emmett, who squared up his shoulders and saluted me. I grinned, while pretty much everyone else rolled their eyes. Whatever, they were having fun, I knew it.

I whispered Emmett his assignment, and he grinned, and took off right away, heading in the wrong direction, oh well.

I looked at Rosalie next, who had a pout on her perfect features. God, she was really into it a minute ago.

"Rose, this is your job, ready?" I asked, before giving her the next job. Upon hearing what she had to do, she smiled wickedly, and took off in the direction of the cosmetic department. I knew she would enjoy the assignment I gave her.

"Jasper," I said, looking at my next victim. He smiled at me, and I grinned back, "Here is what you have to do." I told him, and he nodded once, and left, he was a good soldier, he should have been in a war- oh, that's right, he was. No wonder he was general.

"Bella, this is your job." I said, muttering to her assignment. She blushed, but nodded. I smiled, I gave her that assignment because she needed to get a little embarrassed after beating me.

"Alice." Edward growled, shaking his head.

"Come on, look how fun it's going to turn out." I showed him the vision I had had earlier in my head, and he laughed, though he tried not to.

"Alright then, you have the most important job of all, ready?" I asked him, he nodded, already knowing what it was, I told him anyways though, and he took off without a word.

I kind of liked having this power.

I meandered over to the clothing department, going to my assignment. I would take care of number five; these clothes were crap, anyway.

When I reached the department, I wasn't disappointed. There was this horrible floral pattern dress, with these weird cut outs that would make even me look hideous, not that I would wear something like then, even if it was made by a real designer.

I wandered into the petite area, where the most people were. I sighed, poor woman, actually shopping her, I let out a sigh. Oh well, better get on with my mission.

I pretended to look at one truly horrifying piece, which consisted of about no less than seven bows, all down the front of the shirt.

"Who buys this crap, anyway." I said in a loud and questioning voice. The people around me glared, and some of the women started whispering.

"That girl, who does she think she is, anyway." One of them whispered.

Oh no, I was not going to take that, no way. I know exactly who I am, okay, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen did not stand for people to talk about her.

"Excuse me." I said, walking over to them. I kept my voice nice, airy, and pleasant, for now.

"Yes." They twittered.

"How could she have heard us, she was way over there." The older of the two wowan, who was wearing the ugliest purple work out suit I had ever seen, said.

"I just wanted to let you know that your granddaughters, May and Kiran, got arrested last week for smoking pot, and will probably be calling you in about, oh, ten minutes or so explaining to you their predicament." I said.

"Ok, and I am going to go jump out of a airplane in ten minutes." The one on the left said, laughing.

"Your loss, but if you call their cell phones right now, I bet you could warn them about getting caught, and they would be fine." I said, grinning.

"Honey, I think you better go back to the loony bin." The other one said. I growled, and pulled up my sleeves. Why I should…

"Let it go Alice, come on." Said a voice from behind me, who I recognized as Emmett, I forgot he was supposed to be somewhere in that section.

"Whatever." I said, growling one more time at the old ladies, who were looking very bemused right now.

"You know, I am going to laugh when May and Kiran go to jail." I muttered.

"I will to, and by the way, how did you know that about their granddaughters so quickly." Emmett asked as he led us to the front of the store.

"Oh, you and I get bored next week and decide to become lawyers for a while, and we have to prosecute them." I told him simply.

oOoOoOo

_Hope you enjoyed. I was thinking of maybe doing a one-shot side story on when Alice and Emmett become lawyers for a day, please let me know if you would read it._

_And if you still want to send in a little rhyme, like they had in the last chapter, please enter one, this little contest will go on for a while, and so far, only two people have entered._

_Now, finally, review!!!_

_(Next chapter out maybe later tonight, or at least by tomorrow!)_


	7. Fatal Accidents

_Me: HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH, THAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO BE SCARED (Not really, don't worry, I' m not that weird…)_

_25 reviews for the last chapter, you guys blow me away!!! _

_In celebration, here is the next chapter! That's right, two in one day! (Though most of you probably won't get this until tomorrow.)_

_Read and review!!!_

Chapter 6- Fatal Accidents

**This is in EMMETT'S POV!!!**

I was excited about my assignment, this was going to be fun, I had always loved acting, back in the nineteen seventies I was a hit, but Carlisle made me quit, he said he didn't want to attract attention to our family.

I could have been big, oh well. I repeated in my head my job that Alice had assigned. Number five- _Re-enact a fatal accident using glass doors._

My specialty. I looked around, how did I get to the back of the store. Hmm, anyway.

I wondered around back toward the doors, and took my position, I was ready.

I stood perfectly still for about a minute, and drew in a few people. Every actor needed an audience.

Then, I took a bow, and began.

First, at a pace that could be considered slow motion, even for humans, which made me feel like a snail, I pretended to run. As I did, still going in slow-mode, I let out a long and low, "Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

Right as I ended that, I crashed into the doors, well, if I would actually have crashed into them, I would have broken them, I actually just bumped, but it did the trick.

My group of on lookers gasped, as I flung myself backwards, pretending to have been thrown back from the force of my crash.

When I landed with a thundering crash, I pretended to be weak. But just as people started gathering around, I started standing up, still going in slow motion. I dragged my body to my feet, pretending to be heaving, while the whole time I was grinning inside.

I shook my head slowly and ferociously, and backed up slightly, pushing up my sleeves. I went running, just a little fast now, at the door. Which shocked a number of my audience, guessing from their sharp intake of breath.

This time, instead of flying backwards again, I went flying into them, but apparently I forgot to notice the fact that they were those circle doors that rotate. I started spinning, and spinning, running round and round, was it possible for a vampire to get dizzy.

Was it possible for a vampire to loose 'his cookies' as Esme called it.

I did not want to find out.

So I flung myself out of there, and landed with a booming thump onto the tiled floor. I was surprised it didn't make a dent.

I laid out, spread eagle, on the floor, my tongue sticking out for good measure. Suddenly, I head the Alice's voice coming from somewhere in the store. "Excuse me."

That didn't sound good, I decided to go check it out. Much to the dismay of my on lookers, I jumped up, shouting "Good as new." As I skipped away, and did a parting wave before turning down another isle and out of site.

oOoOoOo

_Hope that was as much fun to read as it was to write! Not the longest chapter, but that's your second one today, so smile!_

_Please go check out Falling Up, which should get updated tomorrow, at the latest._

_And tell me, whose POV should I do next, Jasper, Bella, Edward, or Rose? You guys choose. And also, go vote on my pole._

_And finally, I have decided to write that one shot on Alice and Emmett's day as lawyers, but I want to ask my dad a few things first (He's a lawyer), and I see him in a few days, so I will get started then. Expect it out in the next week!_

_REVIEW!!!_


	8. Codes and Such

_Guys, I am so sorry for not updating yesterday, my part of the country was pretty much run over with tornados, so I had very little time to do anything, let alone write._

_Also, sorry this chapter is so short, I am so freaking exhausted, and I have no idea why- I have been falling asleep all day. So I am going to go to bed after I post this._

_I will check my email tomorrow morning, so when I get up, it would be awesome if I had an inbox full of reviews and such- nudge, nudge, wink, wink._

_Speaking of reviews, have I told you guys how much I love you yet? Seriously, 27 reviews last chapter!!!_

_Now, here we go, you guys voted, and now you get to see, drum roll, Jasper!!!_

Chapter Seven: Codes and such.

**JASPER'S POV PEOPLE!!!**

I walked away from my beautiful wife with a smile on her face. She was really getting into this, the excitement that was radiating off her, it made me excited.

I recited in my head my mission that I had been assigned to. Like the soldier I was, I was going to carry out my mission, no matter what.

Number six_- Walk up to an employee and say in an official tone- we've got a code three in house ware- see what happens. _

I grinned to myself, I got out easy. They probably wouldn't do anything. I thought what we were doing was slightly ridiculous, but oh well.

I strolled around the store my eyes darting around everywhere; searching for a good employee that would hopefully understand this was a joke. I found the perfect one.

His name tag read Tag, ironically enough. He was tall and skinny, though I still had a few inches on him. He had glasses, braces, and acne, poor kid.

I walked up to him, and said in the most authoritive voice I could muster, "We've got a code three in house wares." And I said it keeping a strait face too, amazing.

The guy looked at me for a second, and then a panicked look crossed his face. Oh no, this did not look good. I could feel the nervousness coming off him, in small waves, growing stronger each second.

I gulped, this did not look good. What the heck was a code three? I glanced at the little memo board that just happened to be behind him, well that was a coincidence. Hmm. Anyway, I read down the list until I found code three.

I glanced at the list, my eyes quickly scanning until I found number three. Great, just great, Tag here thought that there was a dog running through the house wares department. That's fabulous.

I turned and watched him go, oh no, I just realized something. There was someone in my family who was scared of dogs. And that someone might here the news that there is supposedly a dog in the store. Oh crap, I had to go find them, now.

oOoOoOo

_What did you think, this was actually one of my least favorite chapters so far, but you guys decided._

_Anyone know who is going to be scared of dogs? Who ever gets it right will get the next chapter dedicated to them, and when I dedicate chapters, trust me, its fun. (That person just might end up IN the chapter- if you know what I mean.)_

_Wow, I did not do that very subtle, did I. Any way, go check out Falling Up, pretty please! And vote on my pole!_

_And review!!! _

_P.S. I am thinking of changing my pen name on here, I am growing bored of it, and I have had it for ever, what do you guys think?_


	9. Batman and Robins?

_Wow guys, thank you so much for the reviews! You don't know how much each and everyone of them makes me smile! _

_Alright, last chapter, I asked you who was going to be afraid of dogs, and only two of you got it right! Most of you guys guessed Rosalie, followed by Emmett. But the answer is, drum roll please- Edward!!!_

_Congrats to Caitlin and IamnotstalkingEmmett for getting it right!! This chapter is for you guys!!!_

_Now, the standard stuff- Go check out Falling Up, vote on my pole, the usual!_

Chapter Eight- Batman and Robins?

**EDWARDS POV**

I wondered off into the store, of course Alice would give me something like this, of course. She was just mad because I beat her in chess yesterday; all of the other's missions were much easier and less embarrassing. Stupid little pixie.

I turned the corner to find myself inside the home wares stuff, where the towels were located. I apparently needed one, according to my assignment.

Number Seven- _Drape a towel over you shoulders and run around the store singing "na na na na na na na Batman! Come Robin, to the bat cave!"_

Yeah, that's fun.

I grabbed the nearest towel, which was a soft blue color, and fastened it around my shoulders. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath before going.

There was no way I would do this if she hadn't threatened to kidnap Bella and make her go shopping for a week. She was planning to enforce that threat too, if needed. I sighed, Bella, I must really love you.

I began running, at human speed, around the store. Everywhere I went people stared at me like I was some crazy lunatic. Well, I guess I looked that way.

Some old guy flipped me off as I passed. But as I turned around to give him the bird back, I ran into some girl.

"Sorry." I muttered. She just stared at me. She looked up at me, she was only about four or five, as far as I could tell.

"Who you?" She asked me, her eyes wide with curiosity. I sighed.

"I'm Edward Cullen." I said, helping her up. I winced slightly when I held her hand, but she didn't seem to notice my cold skin.

"E-ward, I'm **Caitlin**, why you wear cape?" She asked me. Her little voice really was adorable, Stop it Edward!

"I am pretending to be batman." I muttered, embarrassed. Great, now I was embarrassed just talking to a four year old, I was going to murder Alice later.

"Can I be Robin?" She asked me, I looked at her.

"Where are your parents?" I asked.

She pointed over to a woman who was standing a little ways away, grabbing items from the shelves. I went over to her, and cursing myself, I asked her mom.

"Um, I'm sorry to bother you, but your daughter here wants to play with me, can I let her." Oh god, I sounded like a crazy child molester. But the woman didn't even bat an eyelash.

"Go Caitlin, be back in half an hour." I stared, amazed. What kind of mother was she? I looked back down at Caitlin, who was staring up at me, I sighed, and went over to get another cape.

"What color?" I asked, she smiled.

"Pink." She answered. "Can we get my other sister too?" She asked. Oh great, but I nodded.

I let her pull me over to where another girl was standing.

"What's your name." I asked, somewhat reluctantly, I was not a day camp, but I couldn't turn down the look on their faces.

"IANSE" She answered. I looked over at Caitlin quizzically.

"She goes by initials, they stand for Ida Ann Nicole Sidney Emily, but she made up the words **I am not stalking Emmett**, instead.

I looked at her, she was like six. Seriously? I tried to read their thoughts, but Caitlin had moved on to thinking about her favorite color, pink, and IANSE was thinking about some game she wanted.

"Let's go." I said, and after teaching them what to say, and fastening their towels, we took off.

"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Batman!" WE sang out. "And Robins!" The little girls added.

We went around the store like this, earning many, many stares, but then an announcement came over the speakers. "Attention, we have a dog loose in the store, everyone, please remain calm while we get it."

I froze, if my heart was still beating it might have stopped. Dog. Oh, no.

"Edward, what wrong?" Came IANSE's voice. My throat went dry. I couldn't breath, not that I needed too, but still.

My eyes were wide, I knew it. I had to get out of here. I suddenly took off, but about half way through the store, I ran into Jasper, who was looking at me with an amused expression.

"There is no dog Edward, that was just my mission, to tell an employee that." He explained. I relaxed.

"I know, I was just, a, had to go to the bathroom." I lied lamely.

"Vampires don't need to use the bathroom." Jasper told me flatly.

"Well, what I meant was, I, uh." I stuttered.

"We all know you're afraid of dogs." Alice chirped from behind me. I spun around, Emmett and Alice were walking up to us.

"Nice towel man." Emmett noted. I grabbed it and through the towel to the ground.

"Where are Bella and Rosalie?" I asked.

"They aren't done yet, but I don't think they would mind if we watched them finish." She suggested with a devious grin.

oOoOoOo

_What did you guys think, I made it super long, since I don't think I will be able to update tomorrow._

_Alright guys, I have some news:_

_I am going to be writing a special Valentine's Day one shot, look for it up either tomorrow or Saturday!_

_goalicego and I are holding a contest, and I would love it if some of you guys entered, for details, go see my profile page._

_Now go vote on my pole, check out Falling Up, check out my contest, and REVIEW!_

_Alright, this time whoever can come up with the best rhyme, like the ones back in chapter, I don't know, I think it was five or six, will get the next chapter dedicated to them!_


	10. Shoes

_Alright guys, I know you all probably hate me for not updating for like four days, when I said I would update everyday, and honestly, my excuse is not so great. I kind lost my paper with all the things to do on it… whoops. Hey, if you want you can leave me a flame, I have never gotten one, and I want to experience it. _

_Oh, I know, we can have a flame contest! Who ever can leave the best, most original flame! The winner get's the next chapter dedicated to them, and we all know how much fun that is…_

_(Wow, I just reread what I wrote… weird.)_

_Anywho, you know the drill, check out Falling Up, vote on my pole, and go check out my new, Valentine's Day one shot._

Chapter Nine- Shoes

_(We left off with Edward afraid of dogs, and Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Emmett going to find out what Rose and Bella are up to.)_

**ROSALIE'S POV**

I couldn't believe Alice had given me this one, honesty, of all the ones on her list.

Number eight-_Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene._

She new I hated making scenes, unless, of course, it was for something good and fun- like the time she and Emmett started making out in the middle of gym, that had been fun… though Carlisle and Esme hadn't been too thrilled.

Anyone, I walked over to the shoe department, and let out a sigh. My fabulous kitten heels were far better than anything in here, but whatever.

"Excuse me!" I called out loudly, and smirked as a young guy dashed instantly to my side. He was young, and way to eager. I glanced at his name plate, Tag. Weird.

"Yes?" He asked, staring at me. Well this could be fun.

"Hello." I purred at him with a wink. He almost fell over backwards, but caught himself just in time.

"Ma-may I help you miss?" He asked. I let out a sigh.

"Actually, yes, I want to return these shoes." I whispered, smiling at him. I slowly slipped my shoes off; I think he might have drooled.

"Alright, one moment miss." He said. I glanced behind me and saw most of my family hiding behind a large display of tennis shoes.

I winked at them, and they all laughed.

"Rose, if you keep doing that, that poor guy will feint." Alice hissed at me, just loud enough so I could here. The other members of my family shook their heads and agreement.

"Alright, alright, but it would be funny." I muttered.

"True, but we will be needing poor tag later on, so don't bully him quite yet." Alice responded, smirking back at me.

"Um, miss, we don't carry these shoes here, I'm sorry." He told me. I tried not to smile, of course they didn't have them, they probably cost more than all the shoes here combined.

Edward let out a laugh from behind me, but quickly covered it as a sneeze.

"Wait, I thought the customer was always right." I said, staring Tag directly in the eye.

"Well, they are, but, well, in this circumstance." He stuttered, looking down at the floor.

"Are you saying I'm not right, I am the customer, god dammit, I'm always right!" I yelled, my voice getting louder as the sentence went are.

He kept stuttereing, and I got up, pleased that other people were now gathering around, staring. Maybe Alice was right, being the center of attention for things like this could be fun.

"What was that, I am right!" I yelled, and picked up my shoes. I then leapt onto a chair, shouted "The customer is always right, ALWAYS RIGHT, DAMMIT!" Made a sweeping bow, and scurried off towards my family.

They all stared at me. I grinned back in return. Suddenly Emmett started clapping, and soon everyone did.

"Rosalie, you are officially a Wal Mart fun person!" Alice exclaimed.

"A what?" I asked.

"A Wal Mart fun person! Now come on, we have to go find Bella before she does hers, because I gave her a good one." Alice said, and we all hurried off, trying to go find Bella.

I was a little scared for her though, if it was a good one, Bella might not survive.

oOoOoOo

_Well there was Rosalie's assignment, did you like it?_

_Alrighty, goalicego and I are hosting a CONTEST!!! For information and rules, go to my profile!_

_Also, I am going to change my pen name on here, so look for a new one sometime soon._

_And, remember that I am having a flame contest!!! I think it will be fun, though it would be nice if you said something nice as a little side note…:-D_

_NOW REVIEW!!! (Please) New chapter up later today of tomorrow!!!_


	11. Funnels

_Guys, your continued support is amazing!!!_

_Alright, News, here we go:_

_Congrats to Dot823 for winning the FLAME contest! Hers was hilarious, here it is: _

DAMMIT! I WAS BORED TO DEATH!! NOW I SHALL HAVE AN ARMY OF EVIL KITTY CATS THAT ARE ALL NAMED BLOSSOM BUBBLES AND BUTTERCUP ATTACK YOU AND FORCE YOU TO SIT DOWN AND UPDATE EVERY HOUR FOR THE NEXT 4 WEEKS!! AND IF YOU DON'T, THEY'LL START LICKING YOUR FEET UNTIL YOUR LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!! AND MORE11 THEY'LL KEEP LICKING YOU ALL OVER AND JUNK AND THEY'LL DO IT UNTIL YOU REACH 100 CHAPTERS1! **...that's only 90 hours...OH WELL! YOU SHALL UPDATE ALOT AND ALOT AND ALOT BECAUSE OF MY EVIL KTY CATS NAMED BLOSSOM BUBBLES AND BUTTERCUP ARMY!

_So this chapter is for you!!! Hope you like…_

_Also, I am going to change my pen name after I post this, so I will have a different pen name, I am still not exactly sure what I want it to be, but I like spur of the moment decisions anyway._

_Now you know the drill, read, review, vote on pole, go check out Falling Up, which by the way GOT NOMINATED! On The lion and lamb awards, the link is on my profile, if you want to check it out!_

Chapter Ten-Funnels

**BELLA'S POV PEOPLE**

I wandered through the large isles, groaning on what Alice wanted me to do. She was just mad that I beat her in the past two things we did. Never get on Alice's bad side.

I repeated my assignment in my head- _In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels._

_  
_That was not going to be fun. What exactly was a Madonna look, anyway? I suddenly remembered that episode of Where Are They Now, where they showed pictures. I shuddered, why had she made me do that?

I walked slowly all the way to auto department, where some old guy was looking at me, that wasn't creepy. I reached into my purse, which, of course had a camera. Alice had explained to me that she wanted me to do, and I was not looking forward to it.

She had said to get the camera that was in my bag, which, of course, it was, stupid future seeing vampire. I went up to the large shelves, pulled down a few funnels and cones, and went to the shiniest, newest car there.

I went up to a geeky sales assistant, whose name plate read Tag, weird name.

"Um, excuse me, would you mind taking my picture." I muttered. He stared at me.

"It's for this, um, school project, and I have to sit on the car." I mumbled, my face turning red. He still stared.

"Please?" I asked. Maybe he wouldn't do it, maybe he would refuse. Hey, I tried, right?

"Of course," he finally said. Crap.

"Great." I said, climbing onto the car.

I did the best impression of Madonna that I could, posing around the funnels. The guy started taking pictures. I posed in different positions, and the guy clicked away.

Suddenly, I heard a short burst of laughter. I turned around, and to my complete, the whole Cullen family was behind me. My face went from a light pink to a bright, watermelon red.

"Hey guys." I muttered, they laughed, and I blushed even harder.

"Hey Tag!" Rosalie called, he took one look at her, looked back at me, turned a beat red, darker than mine, tossed me the camera, and took off.

I finally got down from the car, looking at them all.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Come on, get down from there, I will explain." Edward called, and I climbed down.

"Guys, guess what's next on the list!" Alice called, once I was safely down. I frowned, this could not be good.

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_Hope you liked! Please review!!!_

_Check out Falling Up!!_

_Also, goalicego and are having a contest! And we need entries, so please check out the rules on my profile!_

_Please review! This chapter's contest is: what is the wildest thing you have done in a Wal Mart. (Or ever thought about doing) Winner gets their thing as the next item on the list in the next chapter!!!_

_Now vote on my pole, read Falling Up, and REVIEW!!! (Pretty Please!!)_


	12. Olive Oil

_Thank you lots for the reviews and feedback, its amazing! The best review I can ever get is someone saying that my story improved their day. _

_Congrats to__ LunarEclipse1__, __you are the winner of the contest! This chapter is for you!!!_

_You guys know the drill… read, review, check out my pole and Falling Up._

Chapter 11- Olive Oil

**WE'RE BACK TO ALICE'S POV!!!**

I whipped out my handy list, smiling at what was next. I turned around slowly, grinning at my family. Emmett and Jasper were both staring at me with rapt attention, Rosalie was staring off into space, and Bella kept glaring between me and Alice, which was actually quite funny, which was why I assumed Edward was chuckling under his breath. He caught my eye and nodded.

"Alright guys, ready for the next number?" I called out, looking at them. Everyone groaned except for Jasper, and Emmett, who had a wicked grin on his face.

"Come on guys, number 10- _Throw some kind of oil down an isle, and have slip and slide races; see who can get the farthest down the isle." _

Everyone suddenly perked up at this idea. "Really, something non embarrassing, I'm in." Bella muttered.

"Come on guys!" I called, going over to the cooking isle. I grabbed a handful of olive oil, the first thing I saw, and ran- at human pace, which was annoyingly slow, I wanted to get started!

I bought the containers and quickly went back to the isle where everyone was standing. I went and got a few caution, wet! Signs, and put them so the blocked the isle off to everyone else.

I handed everyone a bottle of oil, and I instructed what to do.

"Start at this end over here," I called, pointing. "Proceed to walk backwards, squirting out you're oil. Once you make it to the back of the isle, stop, and we will begin." I instructed, everyone nodded.

We all held up our bottles, armed. "Ready, wet, go!" I called, and we began squirting, walking backwards. I picked up my pace, taking the lead. Emmett suddenly sped up, racing a head of me.

Jasper noticed this, and went a little faster. He went in the lead, and Rosalie, who was next to him, noticed, and sped ahead.

I dashed backwards, and Emmett did too, followed by Jasper and Rosalie. I went again, so did they; I went faster, so did they. We were nose and nose, and well, nose and nose.

"Whoa," I exclaimed, I almost fell backwards, over our line of cones. Suddenly, there was a loud shriek.

We all turned, Bella had fallen on her butt, and I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. And following my queue, so did everyone else, including Edward. Bella turned a bright red.

Edward, still laughing, tried to help her up, honestly, I was surprised he hadn't caught her. She refused, and tried to get up by her self, but just fell again. Now she was covered in oil.

"Don't worry about me guys, I am perfectly fine." She mumbled.

"I offered you my hand." Edward remind her, helping her up without her consent. She huffed at him, and walked slowly, and carefully, towards where the rest of us were waiting.

"Alright guys, whoever goes the farthest wins, once you stop, you must walk over to the side, and do not move from that side." I ordered.

"Alright, I'm first!" Emmett called. He motioned for us all to get out of the way, and as we did, he backed up, and took off running. A little to fast for a human, but oh well. He went sliding as soon as he hit the isle, and made it about three fourths if the way down the isle, before skidding to a stop. HE got up, and made a show of not moving forward an inch on his way to the side.

Rosalie went next, and much to Emmett's disappointment, made it a bit farther than him. She grinned, triumphant.

I went next, and to my delight meant, I made it a few inches farther than Rose. Jasper went next, and made it even less than Emmett. He pouted for a moment, but then grinned; Bella was next.

She went flying down the isle, but half way down, she slipped and fell, of course, and went sliding to the side, more than a foot behind Jasper. She sighed.

Edward went next, but to everyone's amazement, he went flying down the isle, past Bella, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, then skidded to a stop- three centimeters ahead of me.

Crap, I never win! I looked at the next item on the list, and grinned, I had to win this.

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_Hope you liked! _

_All right guys, please review! _

_For this chapter's contest, you must tell me your favorite part of this story… the most __creative__ answer wins!_

_For mine and goalicego's contest, we need entries, so write something! Check out the rules on my profile!!!_

_Now please review!_


	13. My Little Pony

_Thank you so, so, so much for all the reviews! You guys rock, we had 29!!!_

_Alright, for the last chapter contest, I couldn't pick a winner; I liked all your guy's responses, so this chapter is dedicated to everyone!_

_Check out Falling Up, vote on my pole, you know the drill…_

Chapter 12- My Little Pony

I grinned, amused. This one I had to win, I knew it. I looked at everybody, we were all still slightly covered with oil, but I'm sure that we could deal with it… maybe.

"Alright guys, are you ready?" I asked. They all nodded.

"Number 11- _In the Toy isles, set up a full scale war between any two toy brands of your choice." _I read.

Everyone grinned, finally something no one could get hurt or embarrassed at. Wow, that's odd.

"Alright everyone, pick your toy, and go grab it before anyone else does!" I yelled, taking off. They were all right behind me, even Bella, who was being dragged along by Emmett. Wait a minute, Emmett, where was Edward.

I looked ahead of me, and nearly feinted. Edward was running ahead of us, shouting "I call My Little Pony!!!!" HE shouted, racing on. I let out a laugh, as did everyone else.

HE suddenly stopped, and turned to face us. "I mean, oh, forget it I want My Little Pony, I have always wanted a horse." He muttered. I smiled, you learn new things about people everyday.

"Why didn't you just buy a horse?" Jasper asked, coming up beside him.

"Um, I was afraid I might eat it…" He mumbled.

"Right," I said, "Let's move on, everyone, pick your toy!" I said, and we all went to back to our task. I browsed for a minute, watching Jasper as he snatched up a bundle of GI Joes.

"Rose." I muttered, pulling her into a corner.

"What Alice." She asked, gazing at Emmett, who was picking up toys at random, looking at them, them putting them back.

"We need to team together, I read the next item on the list, and here is what we need to do…" I told her, with a smile.

Five minutes later, Rose and I had agreed upon a plan, and we went to pick out our toys. I picked Polly Pocket. Small and forceful, just like me.

We all met up in the largest isle, our toys in our arms. I looked around, Jasper had gotten his GI Joes, Emmett with a huge pile of tanks and race cars, Bella with a small amount of army men, man, she was so naïve, Edward, with his My Little Pony's, and Rose, with her Malibu Barbie.

I smiled, this was going perfectly. We all began to set up, when I got an idea. I grabbed a few of the building blocks off the shelf. I stacked them up, building a fort. Suddenly everyone was doing the same thing, I grinned, my plan was working. I saw Rose smirk, as she built a passage way between our forts. Perfect.

I backed my people up, where they would be out of range. Rose conspicuously did the same thing. Perfect.

I slowly got out my list, time to begin the next number…

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_Alright, hope you liked. Sorry for not updating yesterday, but thank you so much for all the reviews!_

_A few of you guys have entered our contest, but we need more entries! Please check out the rules on my profile._

_For this chapter's contest, tell me what you think is Rosalie's and Alice's plan! _


	14. Timber

_Guys, thank you SO much for the reviews, we are at 300! With over 33 in the last chapter alone, thank you!!!_

_Sorry for not updating the past few days, it wouldn't let me even go to the login page, so I couldn't upload it._

_Alright, this chapter is for vampsrulewolvesdont. Hope you enjoy…_

Chapter 13- Timber!

As Rose and I slowly pulled back our troops, the others were busy building up their forts, so they didn't notice. It was going perfectly, and even Jasper didn't expect anything. I peeked over at him, he was building layers in his fort, even better.

"Hey guys, since we did this, are you ready to read number 12?" I asked. Everyone nodded, setting up their battle front.

"Number 12- _On the above battle, act it out, attacking until one winner ruler all." _Or two, Rose and I, but whatever.

"Ok guys, are you ready?" I asked, smiling at them. Everyone grinned. "Alright then." I said, then Rose and I shouted at the same moment.

"TIMBER!" And we pushed our blacks over. And they went tumbling all over Emmett's cars and Bella's army men. From there they crashed over Edward's My Little Ponies, which brought a loud "NO!!!" from him.

It went on to Jaspers, and then stopped. The crashes and bangs from before stopped, and there was silence, when all the smoke cleared, alright there was no smoke, but sometimes I can be a little dramatic.

"What!" Rosalie screeched. I turned to Jasper, who sat with an amused expression on his face.

"Ladies, I was in the army for almost three years, and then I fought in, well, you know, for almost a century, you really think that you can out smart me in that kind of thing?" He asked.

I caught Rose and let out a grin. "Yes." We said at the same time, and pushed over the last remaining piles of blocks, which was still standing between us. I watched as if was in slow motion, as the blocks bounced along the designated path, we had planned well.

One veered off course and hit the one remaining My Little Pony of Edwards, which caused him to cry out, but I was to focused, the only sound that I could hear was the blocks tumbling over each other, their edges clanking together.

And finally, to the surprise of everyone, including me, one of the blocks hit the wall on Jasper's defenses. His face fell, and mine and Rosalie's exploded with a smile, we did it! I watched as the rest of his defenses crumbled; fell to the ground. Everyone's eyes displayed shock, but ours were ecstatic.

We got up, and started jumping up and down, hugging each other. This moment was a good one. We outsmarted Jasper, the general. His head hung, his eyes glancing over the wreckage.

"Come on Jasper, it was just one battle." I teased, knowing how he hated to loose.

"Alice, you and Rose might want to run." HE warned.

"Sore looser much?" I asked, before taking off, at a pace a little to fast for a human, but oh well.

oOoOoOo

_Hope you enjoyed, it was very dramatic to write. (Just kidding)_

_Alright, you guys are a familiar with our drill, check out Falling Up, vote on the pole, and check out my profile for contest info. We want entries!_

_Alright, for this chapter's contest, tell me what you want to see as a chapter contest. (Sorry, I'm running out of ideas.)_

_Now please review!_


	15. Flyers and Floam

_Backs against wall with snipers and evil kitties facing me- I am SO sorry for not updating, in about two weeks… hehe… I really am, that stupid real life got in the way. Hate that thing… Well, not really, but now I'm babbling, because I'm nervous, scared everyone hates me now, so anyway…_

_Here is the next chapter (finally) for GKOOWM… (No duh Shelby, you are smart today) _

Chapter 14- Flyers and Floam

_(Rose and Alice just beat Jasper with the whole block, toy war thing)_

**ALICE POV**

I ran through the store, as slowly as I could, Rosalie right behind me. Jasper was following close behind.

I suddenly stopped dead. We were in the home and office supplies section, and I was pretty sure that was where the next item on my list was. I pulled it out, and Rose and Jasper came to a sudden halt right behind me.

I covered the list with my hand, it was my list, not their's. Could anyone respect that? I glanced behind me and noticed Bella, Emmett, and Edward walking up towards us. Perfect timing, I read the next thing on the list out loud.

Number 13- _In the office supplies department, "Borrow" some paper and crayons, and make signs and flyers for the merchandise. Be creative. Example: put on a fridge: "caution, food may be hot."_

Everyone looked at me for instructions. Man, I should be in charge of stuff more often. It is really fun.

"Alright, everyone must make at least two signs. When you have made all the ideas that you can think of, please show everyone else, and then we will hang them.

Everyone nodded in agreement, and went to get their supplies. I aimed for something bright and eye popping, like, were those glitter pens, and raised markers- make your art 3D. I have always wanted some of those. In the ads for them on TV, the kids always look like they were having so much fun.

Wait, I stopped in mid stride. They couldn't be. They couldn't, there was no way. I had been looking for these since forever; they were always sold out… It wasn't possible, it wasn't. I bent closer, and it was, there was a pack of Floam!!!

I hastily reached to grab it, but all of a sudden a hairy hand snatched it out of no where. I looked up, to see that stupid sales man, Tag, or whatever his name was, taking the last package.

"Oh man, I had been wanting one of these since forever, but they always sell out so fast, I knew it was a good idea to hide it in this isle." He said out lous, talking to himself.

I looked at him, shaking. "I was going to take that." I said as calmly as I could. He just stared at me.

"Sorry, this item is no longer for sale." He said smoothly. I could see his eyes twinkling, he thought this was amusing.

"Yes it is." I seethed, standing on tips toes, trying to reach my full height, which was less than five feet, but still…

I could see the sweat running down his pimply covered face; disgusting man. Disgusting man who was trying to steal my Floam. I couldn't believe that he was trying to take my lime green Floam away, what a petty, petty man.

"No it is not." He said, but he looked nervous. I could just tell he was debating if I was going to go tell on him, but I wouldn't. I didn't want it that bad…

"Oh look, it's purple moon sand!" I suddenly shrieked, pointing behind me. He turned around so fast, he dropped the Floam.

"Where?!" he shouted. I took my chance, and grabbed the Floam off of the ground before he turned around.

"Made you look." I said in the sweetest voice I could manage, and walked off, Floam in hand.

I walked over, and noticed all my siblings hard at work. They were all giggling slightly, I guess they heard my conversation with Tag.

"So you got your Floam, finally, huh?" Emmett finally asked. I nodded stiffly, and set out my sparkly pens and other materials, ready to make the signs…

…About ten minutes later, we had all completed two signs, and were ready to hold them up. Everyone had been so secretive about their signs, I was excited to see them finally.

Emmett held his up first. "On a shelf full of food, **WARNING, YOU MIGHT GET FULL. **And on a rows of children book's, **CAUTION, MAY CONTAIN DANGEROUSLY DISTURBED FARM ANIMALS."**

We all applauded politely. Rosalie went next. "For beauty products, **WHY BOTHER WITH ME, I AM FOR THE PRETTY PEOPLE. **And on a Mirror, **STUPID, and then it shows an arrow pointing down."**

We all applauded again. Edward went next, "I only have one, so here, on a can of whipped cream, **SHAVING CREAM. TASTE GOOD, LOOKS GREAT."**

Bella went next, she also only had one. "For a fruit basket, **FRUIT IS FOR SQUARES, BUY CANDY."**

Jasper was next, he also only had one. "On one of those Civil War books I found earlier, **HAHAHA, THE UNION WINS, BUT THE CONFEDERACY WAS BETTER." **I shook my head at my husband sadly, he just wasn't that funny.

Finally, it was my turn. I held up my design proudly. I only had time for one, since I got held up with that whole Tag, Floam ordeal… "On a T-shirt for the local collage **STATE WINS, AND YOU JUST LOST A HUNDRED BUCKS." **

Ok, so maybe mine wasn't so funny either, but my mind was to preoccupied. I had just read what was then next item on the list…

oOoOoOo

_Not my best chapter, but kind of gets me back in the mood of things._

_I didn't say so before, but thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews, we had over 40 for the last chapter! Can we do it again? (Please)_

_Also, for those of you who have read Falling up, I am putting it on a temporary Hiatus. I have like zip inspiration for that story. So I will only be working on this one for a while…_

_Also, the contest that I am doing, the entry date has been extended to April first, so you still have time! PLEASE ENTER!_

_And Finally, I have been thinking, I realized I have no idea how long this is going to be, so I am going to leave it up to you guys…_

_Just keep going on and on, fifty chapters as a minimum. You will find plenty of stuff to write for it…_

_Around thirty chapters, double the length it is now… And when I'm done with it, write a sequel. _

_Finish it off in about another five chapters, making it around twenty. I am getting tired of Wal Mart, start the sequel! (Which will be pretty much the same thing, except somewhere else, and totally new ideas…)_

_You tell me what you would prefer!!! New chapter up __Sunday__ at the latest! Maybe tomorrow if I have time…_


	16. Mazes

_I'm so sorry for not updating yesterday, my Dad convinced me to go and help him clean out the pool, and it took hours. Fortunately, it was warm out, but still…_

_THANK YOU LOTS FOR THE REVIEWS! They always make me smile, I am so glad you guys are enjoying the story._

_Thanks to TwilightAlice 102 for the idea._

Chapter 15- Mazes

I looked around at my family, and saw that they all looked ready to do something fun, real. Something to get our blood pumping- ok, well, we didn't exactly have real blood, so Bella's blood pumping, which wasn't that hard, whenever Edward just looked at her, oh god, never mind…

I looked at the next item on the list, number 14- _Organize some of the merchandise into a maze, and stand at the end, congratulating anyone who makes it out. _Ooh, that could be fun.

I quickly read it out loud to everyone, and they all perked up instantly, especially Emmett. This was going to be fun.

We quickly decided on a plan. "Emmett, Jasper, you guys go and get some of the bigger item in the store, sofa's, shelves, just big stuff, and bring it to that big isle in the middle of the store." I instructed. "Oh, and if anyone asks what you are doing, say that you are trying to decide if you want to buy it or not, or come up with a better excuse." I finished, they both nodded.

"Wait, how come I don't get to pick up the bigger stuff too?" Edward said. He was joking though, I could tell from the glint in his eye. I smiled.

"Don't complain, or I will make you go clean toilets, did you here me soldier." I said. He stared at me for a moment, before saying in a quiet voice.

"Alice, we aren't in the army, you know." I rolled my eyes, I knew that, of course I did, Anywho…

"Alright, Bella, you and Rosalie go and start clearing the area of people, and make sure no one knows what's going on, once I give you the signal, you are to instruct them into the maze, any questions?" I said. They took off without a backward glance, man; I would be an awesome leader of something… Maybe I could start the new A team…

"Alice?" Edward was waving a hand at me. Now I know that starting the new A team might be fun, but can we finish the first idea that you roped us into first, please?" He asked me, a little laugh in his voice. I stuck my tongue out at him. He was just jealous he didn't come up with all of these ideas first.

Edward rolled his eyes at me. "Fine, you and I are going to design the course, and find some of the smaller items we will need." I said. Edward nodded.

And in a matter of minutes, the design was set; all we needed now was to complete it…

"Thank you for completing the course, it is appreciated, her is your free coupon for twenty dollars off your Wal Mart purchase." I said brightly, a smile on my face as I handed out the coupons.

After we had set up the obstacle course, I had gone to the front and bought a huge book of Mal Mart coupons, and was giving them out as a reward. We were doing quite well; actually, there had been over twenty people through our maze so far. And no one who worked here had even come up to us yet.

Another small group of people made their way through the maze, laughing as I handed them their coupons. I didn't see what was so funny, hadn't these people ever seen a maze in the middle of a Wal Mart, made up of different items before, honestly?

Though, I was kind of getting tired of handing out coupons. I looked at the next item, and smiled. We had to do that, now. Plus I saw Tag coming up, and he didn't look happy.

"Come on guys!" I called, and we took off, laughing. This was getting interesting.

oOoOoOo

_Thanks for reading!_

_First, thank you guys for your impute, I think that I am going to keep it between 25 and 30 chapters. _

_Next, I think I want to start a new story, it won't be that long, but I am not quite sure which to do yet, I have two different ideas. _

_Plus, I think it would be fun and helpful if I had a co-writer type person, so if anyone is interested in starting a new story and doesn't mind co-writing one, let me know. I would love to check out some of your other stories, and see if I think we could work. _

_If you are at interested, or want to know what my ideas are and tell me which one I should do, offer your ideas, please PM me._

_Please review!_


	17. Toilet Paper

_Thanks for the reviews!!! Love you guys! A special thank you to everyone who offered to help me write my new stories, I have decided on someone, and we will hopefully have the first chapter out within the next week or so, so please keep an eye out!_

_Okay, so I have decided I am going to have six more chapters and an epilogue, making the story 24 chapters, which I think will end up a good length. After that there will be a sequel, and I am also going to start a few new stories, so there will be a lot of new stories and updates over the next month or two! _

Chapter 16- Toilet Paper

**Jasper's POV**

We took of running and hid behind a large display of can goods. Once again, Alice took charge. It was fun and cute to see my tiny wife taking charge of us all, including huge Emmett and me, all tall.

"Alright people, they are on to us, so we have to split up. You will each be given a job, again. Report to me when you are done," she told us with authority, I just shook my head.

Once again, she gave us all our instructions and we all took off. I recited my job in my head.

Number 15- _Go into the dressing room and wait a while. Then say as loud as you can, "Hey, there is no toilet paper in here."_

I knew she gave me an embarrassing one to get back at me from chasing her earlier. I sighed, and walked over to the dressing rooms.

I walked into one, rolling my eyes. I counted to one hundred under my breath. I rolled my eyes, sighed, and shifted my weight to one foot, though none of this was actually necessary, I was just trying to stall. But I knew I had to do it.

"Um, excuse me, but there is no toilet paper here!" I finally shouted. There was an intake of breath, and then some muttering.

The emotions of the people around me heightened, some felt embarrassed for me, others seemed nervous, and still others thought it was a joke.

I counted to ten again, and took a deep breath, and walked out. Everyone stared at me, and I walked awkwardly out of the department, when I saw Tag, and two other sales people walking towards me.

I tried to dodge them, walking around in half circles and such, but they kept following me. "Excuse me, but we have been monitoring you and your friend's behavior, and we feel it would be in the best interest of Wal Mart stores if you left immediately. We will escort you out."

I couldn't believe it; I was getting kicked out of Wal Mart.

oOoOoOo

_Hope you liked the chapter. So Jasper is officially out, who will be next? That's up to you guys, whoever you guys say you want the most. So in your review, please tell me who you would like to see booted out next!_

_PLEASE REVIEW!!! _


	18. The Prices are Falling

_Thank you so, so, so, so, so much for all the reviews!!! 50 on the last chapter, you guys are amazing, let's do it again!!!_

_I counted up all the reviews, and you guys gave 32 votes for Rosalie to be kicked out next, so here you go!_

Chapter 17- The Prices are Falling!

**Rosalie's POV**

I rolled my eyes; this was getting kind of ridiculous. I strolled down the isle, looking for the best place to start. I can't believe that Alice had given me this one, after our alliance.

Number 16- _Run around the store shouting "The prices are falling, I repeat, the prices are falling!"_

It was quite ridiculous really. Who would have the time to come up with these crazy thinks? I couldn't believe I was going to do this…

I decided to go to the back of the store, where there were less people. I watched Jasper walk by, and I wondered how he was going to do his part with keeping his dignity. Then again, there was no way around this, and if Alice didn't get her way- I shuddered, remembering the last time we didn't go threw with her plan. Let's just say that Edward's Volvo needed a new paint job and I needed a totally new car…

I sighed, it was now or never- though I was kind of leaning on never, but I didn't want my BMW to take the hit, so I guess it was now.

I took off at a slow pace- slow for me anyway, and started shouting. "The prices are falling, I repeat, the prices, are falling!"

I was on my third chorus when Tag and his minions appeared. They looked like they had just beaten the highest score on whatever video game they were currently obsessed with- which was defiantly not a good thing.

"Excuse me, what do you think you are doing, we have been watching you, and don't feel like you have been executing proper Wal Mart enterprises behavior. We have to ask you to leave." Said Tag smirking. His two friends behind him were giggling like little girls, staring at me.

I glared down at him, making him cower slightly. "You. Are. Kicking. Me. Out. Of. Wal Mart? I asked, seriously. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he shrank back even more.

"Um, yeah, kind of." He said in a tiny voice. I stared at him.

"And you really think that this is good idea?" I asked, bending my head down again, staring straight at him.

"I, uh, I guess so." He stuttered.

His friends were slowly backing away, but Tag didn't seem to notice, he was to busy cowering.

"You know, if you don't go now, we are going to have to resort to force." He said.

"You and what army?" I asked as kindly as I could.

"Them, wait, what? Where did they go?" He asked frantically, turning in a little half ballet turn.

"They left, they are smart." I told him, a smirk on his face.

"I, uh, can you please just leave now, my girlfriend is over there, and I want to impress her." He said, pointing to a girl who was chubby, had glasses, braces, bright red hair, and had matching pimples to Tag. I snorted.

"Her?" I asked, but then I realized how mean that sounded, and I had been trying to cut back on the rudeness. "She seems lovely." I lied through my teeth, trying not to shudder.

"She is awesome, but she thinks I am kind of a wimp, so could you help me out?" He asked, begging, was more accurate.

"Fine, I am tired of this store anyway." I muttered, and marched out. Weirdly, Jasper was already outside…

oOoOoOo

_Hope you liked! Please tell me who you want out next!!!_

_Also, I had an idea, and I wanted to see if you guys were at all interested. I thought about maybe starting up a challenge/ contest site for Twilight fan fiction. Would any of you guys be interested in going there, and entering? Let me know!_

_Please review!!! See if we can get 50 again, because that is amazing!!!_


	19. Private Conversations

_You guys voted, and EDWARD is booted out next. And I am sure this will cause you all to moan, but I am going to extend this story from the 24 I had in mind to about 28-30. I know, I know, but I got an idea which will begin NEXT chapter, and continue on until the end…_

_THANK YOU so much for the reviews, over 55! You guys rock!!! Do it again, and update tomorrow or Wednesday!!!!_

Chapter 18- Private Conversations

**EDWARDS POV**

I shook my head; I couldn't believe that that Alice had given me this.

Number 17- _While walking around alone, pretend to have a serious conversation with someone. Gossip, and point._

I couldn't believe this, Alice's lists were getting more and more ridiculous, seriously. I started walking, wanting to get this over with.

I bent my head towards one side, as if I was looking at someone, and started moving my mouth, as if I were talking. I was even making hand guestures, as Alice had suggested before I left.

I passed a pair of old ladies, and I pointed at them, put a hand in front of my mouth, and pretended to laugh. They looked at me really strangely, and then sped up. God, I was going to kill Alice.

I passed some other people, and continued doing the same thing. That is, until I saw Tag, trailed by two other guys and some strange girl. He seemed smug, and he was thinking about him being a knight in the girl's dream. So weird.

"Excuse me, but I am going to have to ask you to leave, you and your friends are not conducting the behavior that we expect in Wal Mart." Tag said, his voice squeaky, yet proud. What was wrong with him?

"Ok." I said simply.

"Really?" He asked, surprised.

"Why not, in fact, why don't you escort me out your self, to make sure I don't cause any trouble?" I asked, grinning. Tag looked flustered for a moment, before nodding, and pointing towards the door.

I didn't really know why this was so funny, but I kept laughing. Tag kept looking at me strange, and glancing back at his friends. I grinned again.

He was now thinking that I was pulling some prank on him. He pictured a bucket full of paint falling on his head, and string tripping him. Actually, that was a good idea… I ducked behind a shelf and quickly grabbed some sting, ran at full speed and tied it to the door.

I went back and appeared in front of Tag, who looked very flustered. I just smiled and walked toward the door I had tied the string to.

I stepped over it, and turned around and watched as Tag fell over and hit his head on the floor. I guess I was filling a little mean, because I let out a bark like laugh. I heard some from laughs from behind me, Jasper and Rosalie were outside. Wait, why were they outside?

oOoOoOo

_Hope you all enjoyed, and by the way, I decided to make the website, so head over to http:/ /The-Cullen-Awards(dot)synthasite(dot)com Please check it out!!!_

_And please review! Tell me who you want to be booted out next!_


	20. Guitar Solos

_Guys, your support is amazing! Thank you for all of the reviews!_

Chapter 19- guitar solo

**BELLA'S POV**

I couldn't believe that Alice was making me do this. Number 18- _pretend to play an air guitar solo- singing a "theme song" for Target._

I mean, seriously, I don't know I went through with all of Alice's ideas.

But, I better get this over with. I stopped walking and decided I better get it over with- so I began beating my head.

"Na, na, na, na, na, der, dun!" I made guitar sounds, god this was embarrassing. But if I stopped now, I knew Alice would force me to do something even worse.

"Target is great, Target is cool, Target does rule!" I bolted off key, hurting even my own ears.

A crowd was starting to form- oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. "Target- it's better, Target- buy a… sweater?" I really needed to work on my creativity, oh well.

"Ne, ne, ne, na, na, na, der dun!" I bolted out, my face was going bright red.

I got down on my knees, and began beating my head, the sooner I got this over with, the better.

"Target, oh Target- oh crapppp." I sang, Tag was coming up, followed by these weird looking people. He looked all red in the face, and kind of mad- not a good sign.

"Um, hi?" it came out like a question. They glared.

"We do not feel like you and your friends are behaving in the correct way- and we want you to leave- and no funny business." He said.

"Ok." I said.

"What, you are actually going to leave, just like that?" He gawked.

"Sure, why not." I said, shrugging, and getting up.

"But, you aren't going to like try and trip me, or argue with me, or anything?" He asked.

"Um, no." I said. What was his problem?

"Ok then, well, I like you the best, so go now." He said.

"Sure." I said, and walked out.

I stopped right when I got to the parking lot, because Jasper, Rosalie, and Edward were already out there, talking in low voices.

"Um, guys?" I asked, joining them.

"Ten bucks." Rosalie said, holding out her hand. Jasper and Edward both pulled some money out of their pockets and handed to her.

"Hello?" I asked again.

"Oh, sorry, we all got kicked out, and Rosalie thought you were going to be next." Edward explained, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I pulled closer.

"Sorry Bella, going with the odds." Rosalie said shrugging.

"That's fine, so you all got kicked out?" I asked.

"Yep, but we were just thinking, we didn't deserve to be kicked out." Jasper said. I nodded.

"That seems fair. What were you thinking?" I asked.

"Told you she would be on our side, she already fit's into this family Edward." Jasper said, nudging Edward. He grinned.

"So what do we do?" Rosalie asked.

oOoOoOo

_Hope you all enjoyed! Next chapter: Will they get back into Wal Mart- and what about Emmett and Alice. All that soon.- wow that just sounded like a tacky commercial, oh well._

_So go check out my site- http://the-cullen-awards (dot) synthasite (dot) com- take out spaces and replace the dots!_

_I need feedback on it- so please check it out!_


	21. Operation Break In BO

_Thank you lots and lots for all the reviews, they really make me smile. (And then people stare at me weird and ask what the hell am I smiling at)_

_So, this chapter has no number, (tear, tear) but it is one of my favorite chapters, it was fun to write. Also, I have a poll up on my profile- it's about the sequel, so go vote on it._

_And PLEASE head over to my website, HTTP// The-Cullen-Awards . synthasite . com, check it out!!!_

Chapter 20- Operation Break Out (B.O.)

**Bella's POV**

"So what do we do?" I asked, looking around at the group.

We all lapsed into silence; Edward staring up at the sky, Jasper at his shoes, and Rosalie at the doors. Suddenly a wicked grin appeared on her face.

"How breakable do you think those door's are?" She asked suddenly. WE all stared at her, wondering if she had forgotten to take her crazy pills or what?

"Um, I'd say since they are made of point twenty five percent metal, three percent glass, and 96 point seventy five percent plastic, pretty breakable." I said with a grin.

"What?" Came from three different voices.

"Oh, and about forty seven point nine percent of statistics are made up on the spot." I said, giggling quietly.

Rosalie and Edward both laughed quietly, but Jasper started roaring with laughter.

"Remember what we talked about, the whole funny verse not funny thing, that wasn't that funny." Rosalie said to Jasper, patting him on the back and shaking her head.

"Sorry, I just got that one." Jasper said with a shrug. I giggled at the strangeness of it all, but then got back to focus.

"Why did you want to know how breakable the doors are?" Edward asked Rosalie after giving Jasper a funny look.

"Because someone left a huge pole thing over there, that doesn't look too heavy, and I thought we could force the doors open." She said, pointing over at a weird, hollow, pole looking long stick thing.

"Just like they did in biblical times," Edward said.

"Exactly," Jasper said.

"Someone is having a smart day." I said under my breath, fully knowing everyone could here.

"Anyway, let's get down to business." Rosalie said.

"Edward, you distract the guards, Bella, Jasper and I will start ramming the doors, ready, break." Rose said.

"Wait, why do I have to distract the people, and what guards?" Edward complained, looking over at the doors, where the only person near them was an employee who looked about fifty, with died red hair and too many peircings to count was smoking.

"Because you are the prettiest," I said with a shrug. Edward grumbled, but didn't say anything more, we all knew he was the prettiest.

"What is the operation called?" Jasper asked.

"What." I asked at the same time Rosalie did.

"You know, operation Valerie the Volvo, a go-go, stuff like that." Jasper explained.

"Wait you were the ones that painted my Volvo pink with the hearts and crap a few weeks ago, I thought that was only Alice?" Edward asked.

"No…" Jasper trailed off, looking away.

"How about operation break in?" I suggested.

"Or break out." Jasper said.

"But we are breaking in, oh smart one." Rosalie said, smaking him on the side of the head. Wow, the Cullen siblings were very… interesting when they were together like this.

"Yes, but if we say operation break out, the initials will be operation B.O." Jasper explained.

"Why would we want our operation to be named operation B.O.?" I asked.

"Because it can," Jasper answered. I sighed, sometimes boys never grew up. Even when they were hundreds of years old…

"OK, Operation B.O., ready to start." Rosalie said, shaking her head in a pitying sort of way.

"Ready, set, GO!" Edward shouted, and we took off. I followed Jasper and Rose towards the pole, and we picked it up- it was actually very light- and sneaked over near the entrance.

We watched as Edward tried to distract the lady, first be telling lame jokes (Knock, knock, whose there, banana, banana who? Knock, knock, whose there, banana who, knock, knock, whose there, banana, banana who? Knock, knock, whose there, orange, orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?)

He finally gave up that after a second strike, (Why didn't the mummy cross the road. Why? He didn't have any guts!) And aimed for taking her cigarette package and throwing it across the road, receiving a few cuss words, and then watching her running to get it, and then he nodded to us, we backed up, and got ready to hit the door.

"Ready, set… GO!" Rosalie, who was at the front, shouted, and we all ran forward. But just as we were about ten feet away from the doors, who walks out but Emmett, wearing a dress, make up, and stiletto heels. We all pause to watch him as he walks out- run way style, and turns around, sticks out his three middle fingers shouting at someone to "Read between the lines" and stalks off.

Yeah, the Cullen siblings were differently a weird bunch…

oOoOoOo

_Hope you enjoyed, the longest chapter yet (So it should receive the most reviews, right, right? Why is everyone walking away?)_

_Everyone has been asking if I will do another chapter contest, so here you go: I am in the one-shot writing mood, so give me an idea for one, best idea gets the story written and dedicated to them, and runner up gets the next chapter of this story dedicated to them._

_Now check out my site, vote on my pole, and review!!!_


	22. Tag you're it!

_Thank you so much for the reviews, you know they make my day. I can't believe there is over 700 on this story, that's just… wow._

_So many of you guys asked what the heck was going on with Emmett, well don't hate me, but that isn't until next chapter. It was going to be this chapter, but then I got this idea and I figured you guys would like this just as much, so here you go…_

_By the way, instead of writing a one shot, I am going to write either a three or four shot, you will see the first chapter out hopefully by this weekend. If anyone is a beta reader and would like to help me out and read the first chapter over, it would be appreciated greatly! _

_Enjoy the chapter:_

Chapter 21- Tag, you're it!

**IT'S TAG'S POV! (oh no…)**

_This starts from the beginning of the story and does glimpses of it, just so you know. It's kind of a recap of the story, since we are getting close to the end. (Tear, tear)_

Today was going to be a good day, I could tell. For one, Mom had ironed out my Wal Mart vest to perfection- exactly the way I liked it. Two, Edna, my girlfriend, was coming to see me at work today, I really was the luckiest guy in the world.

I road my motor scooter to school, Glad that it was such a nice day, a few days ago it had been raining- and it wasn't fun having water in your shoes all day. But I almost had enough money saved up to buy my very own car- it was so exciting.

Well, at least I had thought it was going to be a good day. That was until _they_ showed up. There were six of them total, and they were demons from Hell.

They started out be doing just small things, until one of their gift wrapping tubes that they used for sword fights came flying over one of the isles and hit me in the head.

Next, they went slip and sliding using olive oil, and when I went to clean up the mess, I slipped and fell- right as Edna showed up. And even worse, she showed up with some of her Star War Heroes friends, some club she was in- and one that I had been rejected too, not that anyone knew that.

I mean, it had happened the moment they came to the store. Just five minutes later I had been knocked over by a flyaway shopping cart, and that had not been fun.

IT was very startling to see people acting like this; I had to kick them out. And some of them didn't go without a fight, I'll tell you. The big one had even the nerve to mock me, and one of the other guys tripped me. And I don't want to even go into details about that little one- shudder.

But they were all gone now, and I was immensely relieved. I could finally go back to the normally peaceful isles. That was, until I saw _them_.

Oh crap. Was the only thought that raced through my head.

oOoOoOo

_Alright, short and sweet, I just thought you would enjoy a small glimpse into Tag's head and a small insight into the future also. _

_Please check out my website, it's my homepage on my profile, PLEASE! And vote on my pole, it has to deal with the sequel to this story. _

_Now review!_


	23. Floral Dresses

_Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for not updating, but I left my computer at my dads when I went to visit him last Tuesday, and I just got it back Saturday, and then it was Easter._

_(By the way, in this chapter, Emmett talks about bigger people, and it does not take anyone into account. Please don't be offended.)_

Chapter 22- Floral Dresses

**Emmett's POV**

I couldn't believe what Alice wanted me to do for my job, assignment, whatever you wanted to call it.

Number 19- _Walk around Wal Mart in clothes belonging to the opposite sex and talk in an obnoxious voice. _

Great, just great, up until now, I had been all for this game. But now I had to dress up as a girl, I mean come on.

Oh well, I probably should just get it over with. I walked over to the clothes- the women's clothes. Man, would any of these even fit me. I picked up a random shirt, and held it up to my chest; it would probably fit a Barbie Doll better than it would fit me.

I wondered over to the plus section, god, this was embarrassing; I was shopping in the plus section. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but I had never thought of myself as big before.

I mean, sure, I was muscular, but never in my life had I bought anything that was a plus size. I liked people that were plusses size. Don't get me wrong, but was I getting fat? Was that even possible?

Oh well, I thought, and grabbed a hideously floral print dress, and went into the dressing room. I tried it on- a perfect fit! I couldn't believe it, and on my first try! That never happened- sure Alice bought most of my clothes, but I sometimes went with her, it kind of sucked when you were stuck in a dressing room, for hours and hours at a time.

I walked out of the dressing rooms, earning stares from everyone, and I marched over to the shoes, and grabbed the highest pair of shoes in the place- If I was gaining weight I needed to gain height too- and put them on, time for phase two.

I went into the middle of the star and started talking.

"So, oh, my god, did you see what was happening with the Joe Bros today. I mean, come –awwn, seriously, really, can you, like believe it?" I said in a high voice.

People were staring, but I didn't care. This was actually kind of fun.

"And then, she like said, like, nu-uh girl friend, and I was like uh-huh girl friend, and she was like no way, and I was like way, and then he said yes!" I squealed.

I didn't know if I was making sense or not, but it was fun making all these dramatic gestures.

"And then I was, like, that was so yesterday." I continued on. "Oh no," I muttered under my breath, as I saw Tag walking toward me. He looked slightly mad, a little red in the face, and determined. Not a good combination.

"Excuse me sir, mam?" Tag said, coming towards me.

"Yes." I said, staring down at the little man.

"You and your friends are no executing proper Wal Mart enterprises behavior, and we would appreciate it if you would please leave our store." He said, his voice all official.

"Um, I rather not, but thanks for the suggestion." I said, turning around. He ran around to face me- I looked down at the top of his head, was that a bald spot?

"Um, sir, mam, you need to leave." He said, more forcefully.

"Um, I'm a dude! And not right now, ok?" I said, annoyed.

"Um, sir, we need you to leave." He said, his voice trembling, I rolled my eyes.

"Um, little man, why do you keep saying um?" I asked.

"Um, well, please just leave." He said, scared now.

I laughed, though I wasn't in the mood for getting this guy to poop his pants, though I defiantly didn't want to loose face, especially if I was fat now.

I need to go out in style, quick Emmett, think. Oh, I know, Brain blast!

"See you." I said, walking out runway fashion. With my hips swaying back and forth- man I was sexy- I pranced out of the store, holding up my three middle fingers.

"Read between the lines!" I shouted, which was basically flipping him off with out flipping him off.

I looked to my right, seeing the door, a pole, the edge of the wall, wait, why was there a pole?

oOoOoOo

_Hope you liked, Emmett's mind is always fun to venture into._

_Please check out my website, the Cullen Awards, it is my home page. _

_And just to let you know, I am going to put out two new stories soon, one is going to be titled __Soul mates__, and the other is called __All's fair in a Lover's War__. Look for them coming soon!_

_PLEASE REVIEW!_


	24. Charge!

_I'm SO sorry for not updating in so long, first the cord to my laptop broke, so I had to get a new one, and then my internet went down, (it's still off and on), and now I'm sick, but since it's been so long I really wanted to update, so I hope you like it._

_And thank you LOTS for the reviews, you guys still astound me with your support. _

Chapter 23- CHARGE!

**JASPER'S POV**

"What the hell Emmett?" I asked as my "brother" came walking out of the store wearing an old lady dress. I was ashamed to know him, but the only emotion coming off him was anger, and was it laughter?

"Long story, Alice's fault, and then Tag came." Emmett trailed off, as we all nodded. Stupid Tag, we had to do something about him soon.

"Same." Bella said.

"So what do we do?" Edward asked.

"First- why are you holding a pole?" Emmett asked us. We all dropped in, and watched as it rolled over to the grass on one side.

"Long story- mainly because someone thought it would be a good idea to use it to break in." Bella explained.

"I see, but you do know that there is a back employee entrance that might be easier." Emmett said.

We all looked at each other.

"But how do we get in there, we aren't employees." Rosalie asked, speaking for the first time since her husband appeared wearing the dress.

"Well, we could find some workers that are roughly our size, and 'borrow' their clothes." Emmett suggested.

"And you know about this how?" I asked who would ever do that.

"Movie, it was so cool, this guy went like bam, and then this other dude went 'not on my watch', and then…"

"Enough!" Rosalie shouted. "Let's go already."

"Fine, come on." Emmett said, leading the way.

We marched around the store, until we spotted the employee entrance. There were two ladies sitting on a bench smoking, and two guys hauling some big box outside. Another guy was leaning against the fence.

"Alright, go, go, GO!" Emmett said, as we took off towards someone. I went for the guy who was leaning on the fence, he looked about my height.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, sending a calming, trusting sensation all over. The guy looked at me with a smile on his face. Creepy.

"Not much good looking." He said- his voice slightly slurred. His breath smelled like alcohol, disgusting. This might be awkward…

"Um, actually, I was wondering if I could borrow your uniform, for, uh, a play?" I improvised. Wow, I really needed to work on my lying skills.

"But dude, that means I am going to get naked, and I think you might get a little too turned o-." He didn't finish his sentence, as I had punched him. Not hard, just good enough to be knocked out a few hours…

I quickly grabbed his jacket and pants- replacing them with some shorts I had found earlier- what are the chances that they were laying around. Maybe Alice had seen this.

A second or two later I was decked out in Wal Mart clothing, complete with a name tag. (Hi! I'm Bob!)

I returned to where Rose and Bella were already standing. Rose was complaining about the itchiness of them, while Bella was radiating uncomfortable-ness.

Edward returned a second later, followed by Emmett. We all burst out laughing, for Emmett's uniform was about five sizes to small, and the bottom of his stomach was visible, and a good six inches of ankle was sticking out underneath the pants. Plus, it was all tight, overall, not a good look.

"Maybe you should have stuck with the dress." Rosalie suggested when she regained her breath. Emmett looked grumpy; and not happy about his clothing. Sadly, he had been much more ecstatic in the dress.

"Alrighty then, let's go." I said, gesturing to everyone to move in. We walked in the entrance, but stopped almost immediately.

For there was Alice. And she had given herself the final item on her list.

oOoOoOo

_Hope you enjoyed. I am still not 100 percent sure what I want Alice to do, something big, so if you have ideas please let me know!_

_Go vote for the sequel, so far, a fair/carnival is in the lead! Plus, I might make a one shot companion story to this story, so look for that in the next week of two!_

_Update this weekend, so please review!!_


	25. Water Gun!

_Your guys support is amazing! Thank you SO much! Over 900 freaking reviews, I think I am in shock…_

_I was planning to update tomorrow, but since you people are so awesome, you get it a day early! _

Chapter 24- Water Gun

**Alice POV**

Ever since I had sent everyone off with their task, I knew that we were going to be getting kicked out. I had seen Rosalie arguing with Tag, and Edward tripping him- that one had made me laugh. But I also saw what was going to happen next.

After chasing Emmett off- in a horrendous dress, by the way- he only had one thing on his mind- I was sure of it. Getting me. He knew I was the 'ring leader', Edward had heard him think of me as that. So I knew what I had to do.

There was only one thing left to do- to make it into Wal Mart history. There would be stories, legends about us- if only I could end it right. It would be hard- and the timing had to be exactly right, for it to work. And one major thing had to happen, something I saw going down- I just had to get there.

I consulted 'the list' but the only thing the had left was something rather disappointing to me- number 20- _grab some bouncy balls from the toy isle, use then as pokeballs, and shout 'go squirtle go'. _I mean, come on, they didn't even use Pikachu, the most famous one.

But, since it was the last item on the list, I knew I had to do it. I just couldn't figure out where this was going to equal what I had seen in my vision. But as I walked over to the toys, I realized that they were right next to the gardening, and an idea came to me as faster than I thought possible.

I grabbed a near by hose that was laying on the ground and put my plan into action.

I started throwing my 'pokeballs' around, shouting the words I was supposed to, all the while counting down in my head. Thirty four more seconds, thirty three, thirty two…

Exactly on time, he came. Tag came prancing into the room, a panicked, yet somehow determined and confident look on his face. It was like he was facing his worst enemy- but he was only 90 percent sure he could win. He had no idea.

"Um, ma'am, I am going to have to ask you to put down the hose and leave our store, we feel that you and your friends behavior isn't in the best interest of the Wal Mart company." He told me in a well practiced voice. I bet this had been a hard day.

"Are you challenging me, I had a squirtle." I warned. "Your Pokemon don't stand a chance against it." I said, the smile on my face stretching from one ear to the other.

"Um, actually, that is a make believe thing created by people in Japan." He said. "Those bastards, no matter how many letters you send, they won't send you the freaking new game earlier, no matter how much you want." He added in an undertone- obviously not wanting me to hear. I stifled a laugh.

"It's real, and I will prove it! Use water gun squirtle!" I shouted, turning on the hose and spraying Tag with my 'water gun.'

"Ma'am, you are way out of hand, I need you to leave now." He said, after rubbing his glasses dry.

"Don't make me use squirtle again." I cautioned, raising the hose threateningly.

He backed away slowly, hands in the air, when I suddenly knew how to make this work. While waving the hose around, making sure no one came near, I grabbed a latter and climbed on top of one of the shelves. Good, everything was in place, now all I had to so was stall for time, and make sure that they got the message I had left.

"Stay away, unless you dare challenge me, a great pokemon master!" I shouted, glancing towards the employee only door, which was on the other side of the room, only a little bit longer.

"Please get down!" Tag shouted. I stuck my tongue out, always the mature thing.

Only a few more seconds. "I am a pokemon master!!!" I shouted, at the exact moment my siblings and husband walked in, with astounded looks on their faces.

_Edward grab the note in the plant next to you_! Was my last thought before I held up my hose again and squirted Tag for another time, and maybe the last…

oOoOoOo

_Hope you enjoyed, and gave Alice a good enough task. Only two more chapters until the story is over, so hope the end will turn out how you like…_

_The next chapter will be out soon, so review and tell me how you want it to end! There is still time to vote on what you want as the sequel, go to the pole on my profile!_

_Review, they make me happy!!! _


	26. The End

_THANK YOU! Your reviews are amazing, and you get a chapter earlier than I planned (I was going to end the story exactly three months after I started it, on the forth, but then you would have to wait to long for these chapters…)_

Chapter 25- The End

**Alice POV**

Despite what you might think, being crouched up on a shelve in the Wal Mart garden area holding a hose that was dribbling out the end, facing your brothers and sister who may or may not have gotten your message on how to go down in Wal Mart history, isn't exactly the most peaceful thing in the world.

But luckily, Edward got the message and picked up the note, read out loud to them under his breath, just loud enough for Bella and the others to hear. I could see his lips moving, and by his smile I knew that is was going to work, now all we had to do was put the plan in action.

"ALICE!" Emmett called, waving at me gaily, part one of the plan was in action. It worked; Tag turned around and gasped, just as I squirted him down with water.

Right as he turned back to face me Rosalie came running out knocking down the display of 'the freshest cow manure in Washington', coating Tag in what could only be classified as pure crap.

I seized that opportunity to jump down from the shelves, landing on a pile of fertilizer. One of the bags ripped open, spraying Tag with dirt, while Edward 'accidentally' fell on the huge display of seeds, causing them to fly everywhere, and landing on the bits of Tag that weren't covered in dirt.

"Now!" I shouted, as we all dove in, Bella pulled out the camera she had used for her Madonna pictures, snapping a picture of us all as we smiled.

We all but ran to the picture area, putting them in the development thing, printing out the picture before anyone even had time to stare at us. We dashed to the employee room, hung the picture on the wall, and changed into the close I had left waiting, we were now pretty unrecognizable.

Emmett had a mustache and over coat, Rosalie was wearing a floral dress that I think she got from Emmett, while Bella and Edward posed as a couple on their vacation, complete with matching tropical t-shirts. Jasper had on dark pants and shirt, looking dark and sinister, and I wore some old sweats.

We had now entered the building the normal way, trying to stay out of the visible eye. But when we passed the garden department, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

It was messed up, something that Tag would have to clean up eventually, which he deserved, try to kick me out.

We continued on to the back of the store, each of us now armed with a letter to the manager, if their employee wanted to kick US out, we would kick him out.

We dropped the letters off and pranced out the door. We just kicked Tag out of Wal Mart.

oOoOoOo

_Hope the ending was good enough for you, it wasn't my favorite, but I thought it would do…_

_The epilogue will be out in a few days, along with the first chapter of the sequel, PLUS I have the preface to my new story all up and beta'ed and ready to go, I am very nervous about it though, so I have to gather up the courage to post it, I have never done anything like this story before…_

_Enough of me rambling, there is still time to vote on the pole for the sequel, though I am taking it down in a few days, so hurry!_

_Now please review!_


	27. Epilogue it starts again

_Well, we finally made it to the end… Hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did! I want to think everyone who has been with since the beginning… you guys know who you are. You guys still hold a special place. _

_But this chapter is dedicated to everyone who has read the story, given me encouragement, helped me out, given ideas, suggestions, and have just plain made me want to write more. Thank you!_

_I now proudly present you with the epilogue!_

Epilogue- It starts again

**Alice POV**

I couldn't believe how boring the week had been. Ever since we had gotten back from Wal Mart, I had been incredibly bored; it was amazing how weird the real world seemed since last week, when it had all happened.

I honestly was about to just go back to Wal Mart, just for something to do, but I knew it wouldn't be the same, it wouldn't live up to my expectations…

Well, maybe there would be a new list to make it better, I should go ahead and check, right? I slipped quietly over to the computer, and logged on quickly to the special account I had made and, let out a happy squeal, there was a new message!! I read over it quickly, but quickly slumped in my chair, going over it again.

What not to do in a fair? There was no fair around here, and it wouldn't come for a while. What could I do?

My eyes slowly went out of focus, as I saw a flash of Bella, me, and Rosalie on some spinning ride, Rosalie loving it, while Bella turned a nasty shade of green. My eyes focused slowly back on the computer screen- but how was the going to happen.

I went to Google and typed in 'Fair's in Washington' and clicked on the search button. Several links appeared, but one that caught me eye said that there was going to be a county fair, and only a few hours away! I could drive that within an hour…

"GUYS!" I yelled excitedly, this was going to be fun!!!

oOoOoOo

_I know, very short, but it's the epilogue, leading into the sequel, which is now OUT!! It starts off the same as this, but expands into about double the length, so PLEASE go check it out, I am hoping it is just as good as this on was!!_

_Also, I have a new story coming out within the next few days, I have the first two chapters written, I am just kind of nervous to post it, but I will defiantly have it out by this weekend!! So keep a look for it. _

_Now leave a review, in honor of the final chapter of the story!!!_

_STORY STATS: (as of now)_

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_THANK YOU GUYS SO FREAKING MUCH!!!_


	28. Employee Applications

I know it's been a year, but I got this idea and couldn't resist…

* * *

WAL-MART EMPLOYEE APPLICATIONS

_Application of employment: Wal-Mart enterprises_

_Name: _Emmett Cullen

_Age: _19

_Sex: _yes :)

_Position Desired: _Owner and/or CEO. Also that one guy who controls all the money

_Salary Desired:_ 100K plus

_Minimum hours: _Zero a week

_Maximum hours: _Maybe an hour or so, as long as it doesn't interfere with my golf game or sex life

_Availability: _Monday and Wednesday from 3pm to 6pm

_How will you benefit the Wal-mart team? _I am a strong willed, extremely handsome individual with more talents than everyone else and also dashing good looks. I will attract multiple female customers thus benefitting the Wal-mart enterprise.

_Do you prefer jobs with a set schedule or where it is always changing? _Well, as an owner I believe I will need to be ready for anything, and besides, as an owner wouldn't I make the schedule anyway?

_References: _Jasper Hale- He worked UNDER me at Target when I was the CEO guy. We had a great time, email him at: this is a real email account aol . com

Also don't contact Edward Cullen for references. He's gay and an ex bathroom cleaner at Target. He was fired because he's a creepy stalker who was sexually harassing me. :(

_Thank you for applying at Wal-Mart. _You're welcome

_Application of employment: Wal-Mart enterprises_

_Name: _Major Jasper Hale

_Age: _20

_Sex: _I wouldn't sleep with anyone to get this job, if that's what you are implying.

_Position Desired: _OK, now this is just sick.

_Salary Desired: _Whatever you think is fair. I use to be a major and made 20 dollars a year. I was the youngest Major in history.

_Minimum hours: _168/week

_Maximum hours: _168/week

_Availability: _Monday through Sunday from 12:00 a.m. to 11:59 p.m.

_What is your greatest strength? _Well I'm told I'm a people person. I have this sort of charisma that makes people want to do whatever I feel. My brothers may be stronger and faster (No, this is not a sexual reference), but I can sit alone in a corner and still make you feel jealous. Also I'm a quick thinker and love to plan ahead so I can make the schedules if you were ever to promote me onto the top (again not a sexual reference).

_Do you have a criminal record or have you ever been in any trouble with the law? If so please explain. _Well it's sort of a long story… You see I was playing this game that Alice found and there was an incident and Wal-mart, I mean Target sort of sued me. As a punishment for being sued (Wal-mart, I mean Target, lost by the way) my father Carlisle said that we should all have to apply and see what we put the poor workers through.

_References: _Emmett Cullen- he was my co-owner at Target. We were a great team.

_Thank you for applying at Wal-mart_

_Application of Employment: Wal-mart Enterprises_

_Name: _Rosalie Hale

_Age: _19

_Sex: _You wish

_Position desired:_ Above you

_Salary desired:_ yes

_Minimum hours:_ none

_Maximum hours: _a few

_Availability: _You wish

_Do you work well with people: _It depends, I don't like people who whine, or are annoying, or ugly, or ones with freckles (Those are not angel kisses, trust me) or people who smell, or really short, oh and ones with self esteem problems, PEOPLE WHO NEVER EVER GROW UP, or try and argue with me, or random people that I dislike. SO yeah, I like people, what can I say, I'm a people person.

_What do you consider the difference between a major and a minor disaster? _Oh, that one is easy. A minor disaster happens to someone else, a major disaster happens to me.

_References: _That one random guy at the quick mart who faints when I walk in and that teacher who didn't make me do any work and gave me an A anyway. Actually all my male teachers would work. ;-)

_Thank you for applying at Wal-mart_

_Application of Employment: Wal-mart Enterprises_

_Name: _Edward Cullen

_Age:_ 17

_Sex: _Male, oh screw this crap

_Position desired:_ no

_Salary desired:_ no

_Minimum hours:_ no

_Maximum hours: _no

_Availability: _no

_Do you consider your self a positive person, what are your most valuable traits? _no

_Do you believe you will be a good asset to the Wal-mart team? _no

_References: _no

_Thank you for applying at Wal-mart_

_Application of Employment: Wal-mart Enterprises_

_Name: _Bella Swan

_Age:_ 18

_Sex: _Female

_Position desired:_ manager, or whatever is available

_Salary desired:_ $10 plus/hour

_Minimum hours:_ 10/week

_Maximum hours: _30/week

_Availability: _Um, am I liable to answer this question?

_Why are you applying at Wal-mart? _Long story, don't need to explain now…

_How would you handle customers who are wrong? _Isn't the customer always right? But, don't worry, I have experience arguing with people who won't let the little things go…

_References: _Angela Weber- very sweet and honest.

_Thank you for applying at Wal-mart_

_Application of Employment: Wal-mart enterprises_

_Name: _Alice Cullen

_Age_: 18

_Sex: _I'm amazing in bed

_Position desired:_ Fashion consultant. Those blue shirts need to be shredded into little pieces and everyone needs to say it with me. Ready, accessories!

_Salary desired:_ maximum

_Minimum hours: _zero

_Maximum hours: _ten maybe, I'm not sure

_Availability: _I'm married

_What's your favorite thing about large chain stores such as Wal-mart? _If you buy everything in one store you can just go to the next one.

_Would you be comfortable firing an employee? _Yes, I believe I'm a chief not an Indian. I could totally fire someone. I'm the Tiffany in the Tiffany & Co.

_References: _Ralph Lauren, yes, the Ralph Lauren. I met him after an incident in his store. We are actually close personal friends now.

_Thank you for applying at Wal-mart_

_

* * *

_

I hope you enjoyed this one last chapter. If you are interested, I started a blog at: http:/ frogblog10 (dot) blogspot (dot) com, it is, of course, humor. I would love it if you guys checked it out and followed me. :)

P.S. – thanks to anyone who read this story, it was really fun to write and helped me a lot as a writer. I am currently writing my own stories, and will sometimes post experts on my blog, if you want to check them out. Thank you.


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